The Homeschool Kids Who Can’t Do Anything

By Zak Gahagan

We are the homeschool kids who can’t do anything
We just stay at home and do our work
And if you ask us to do anything
We’ll just tell you
We can’t do anything.

Well, I can’t pass notes in math class
and I’ve never bought my school lunch
and I’ve never had my homework eaten by the family dog
and I’ve never had a hall pass
and I’ve never owned a locker
and I’ve never had detention after school.

We are the homeschool kids who can’t do anything
We just stay at home and do our work
And if you ask us to do anything
We’ll just tell you
We can’t do anything.

Well, I’ve never been suspended
and I’ve never missed the school bus
and I’ve never got a fat lip from the bully in the hall
and I’ve never seen the school nurse
and I’ve never slapped erasers
and I’ve never had detention after school.

We are the homeschool kids who can’t do anything
We just stay at home and do our work
And if you ask us to do anything
We’ll just tell you
We can’t do anything.

Well, I’ve never changed for P.E.
and I’ve never had a swirlie
and I’ve never had a teacher that I didn’t like at all
and I’ve never had supply lists
and I’ve never answered roll call
and I’ve never had detention after school.

We are the homeschool kids who can’t do anything
We just stay at home and do our work
And if you ask us to do anything
We’ll just tell you
We can’t do anything.

But we’ve often taken field trips
and we go to school in pjs
and we often do our work while sitting on our favorite couch
and we finish school by lunchtime
and we find our books on ebay
and we don’t have any homework after school!