Archive for October, 2007

I had a special blessing tonight.

We went to our friends’ house in Cleveland, TN this evening. She had a baby 12 weeks ago – he was 5#8 at birth, so about the size of one of my newborns *now*… and I got to hold him, and feed him (she bottle feeds), and cuddle him and rock him…

Nice weekend so far!

We were able to spend time with one family yesterday and another today who are our good friends. It is always nice to be able to fellowship with friends who are also part of the body of Christ!

It’s been a nice weekend.

Friday, we had our friends over. Saturday morning, I went yard saling with my mom-in-law and we got some great deals! Then we went to Chattanooga in the afternoon and got to spend some time with friends there. This afternoon I was able to talk to a friend whom I haven’t talked to in years (literally), and this evening, I chatted via IM with a dear friend who was MIA for 18 months but is now “back”!

All in all, it’s been very nice!

Does anybody read this?

I was just wondering… I mean, I’m not going to stop my occasional ramblings here if nobody reads… but I just wondered.

Middle-of-the-night Ramblings

During a time of loss, it is difficult not to put a stranglehold on what is still there. Decluttering is that much more difficult.

I have a book on grief… but every part is talking about losing someone that one has had time to get to know. Someone they have seen alive and fellowshipped with alive – that they have hugged alive… None of them touch on miscarriage or stillbirth. It ISN’T the same. There is nothing… so few memories to hang onto… so few moments to remember. No smiles… no hugs & kisses… just emptiness and sadness.

And hurt. Constantly setting aside the hurts that are unintentional and usually unnoticed (because of being unexpected) and unacknowledged (because they are unaware). It isn’t even necessarily thoughtlessness. Sometimes it’s not knowing – not understanding because of not having experienced it. Sometimes it hurts against all logic. And it isn’t anybody’s “fault” at all… it just *is*.

A funny story

I took Bob & JL out to eat Thursday. They only brought us two glasses of water, so I set mine between me & JL, figuring we would share.

He took a sip and then, as bored children will do, he picked up the pepper. And shook some into the water! I took it away from him and set it back on the table, saying, “John Luke! Yucky!”

As soon as I stopped paying attention, he picked up the pepper again, and shook some more in. At that point, I decided I would ask for another water …. but in the meantime, I watched him.

He shook in some pepper, stirred slightly with the straw, sipped, made a face. He shook in some more pepper, stirred, tasted, made a face. This repeated four or six times, then he shook in some more pepper, tasted, nodded, and set down the pepper!

Wordless Wednesday

“Deer in the Headlights”