Middle-of-the-night Ramblings

During a time of loss, it is difficult not to put a stranglehold on what is still there. Decluttering is that much more difficult.

I have a book on grief… but every part is talking about losing someone that one has had time to get to know. Someone they have seen alive and fellowshipped with alive – that they have hugged alive… None of them touch on miscarriage or stillbirth. It ISN’T the same. There is nothing… so few memories to hang onto… so few moments to remember. No smiles… no hugs & kisses… just emptiness and sadness.

And hurt. Constantly setting aside the hurts that are unintentional and usually unnoticed (because of being unexpected) and unacknowledged (because they are unaware). It isn’t even necessarily thoughtlessness. Sometimes it’s not knowing – not understanding because of not having experienced it. Sometimes it hurts against all logic. And it isn’t anybody’s “fault” at all… it just *is*.